Q: What do you call a fat Jack-O-Lantern?
A: A plumkin
Q: What’s a vampire’s favorite fast food?
A: A guy with very high blood pressure
Q: What do you use to mend a Jack-O-Lantern?
A: A pumpkin patch.
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the ball?
A: Because he had no body to go with!
Q: If you peel my skin off, I won’t cry, but you will. What am I?
A: An onion.
Q: What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about?
A: C sharp or B flat!
Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7?
A: Because 7 8 9!
Q: Why won`t cannibals eat clowns?
A: Because they taste funny!
Q: What was the favorite game at the ghosts’ birthday party?
A: Hide and shriek
Q: What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A: Ice scream
Q: What kind of mistakes do ghosts make?
A: Boo-boos
Q: What vegetable do you get when King Kong walks through your garden?
A: Squash!
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road?
A: To get to the body shop!
Q: What do you say to a skeleton going on vacation?
A: Bone voyage!
Q: What do you call a skeleton who won’t work?
A: Lazy bones
Q: How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
A: With scare spray
Q: What was the witch’s favorite subject in school?
A: Spelling
Q: What do people say to the parents of twin witches?
A: Which witch is which?
Q: How do you make a witch scratch?
A: Take away the W.
Q: Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
A: Dayscare centers
Q: What is a vampire’s favorite mode of transportation?
A: A blood vessel
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
A: Because he didn’t have the guts!
Q: What do you say to a skeleton before he eats?
A: Bone appetit!
Q: What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
A: Frostbite
Q: What type of dog do vampire’s like the best?
A: Bloodhounds
Q: What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A: A stake sandwich
Q: What is a ghost’s favorite mode of transportation?
A: A scareplane
Q: What is a baby ghost’s favorite game?
A: Peek-a-boo!
Q: Why did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?
A: He heard it had great circulation
Q: Why do mummies make good employees?
A: They get all wrapped up in there work.
Q: What surgery does a vampire doctor perform?
A: Fly by night operations
Q: What did the ghost buy for his Haunted House?
A: Home Moaners Insurance.
Q: Why did the dyslexic vampire starve to death?
A: He couldn’t find any doolb.
Q: Why was the cannibal expelled from school?
A: He was buttering up his teacher.
Q: What do you get when you cross a ghost with an owl?
A: Something that scares people and doesn’t give a hoot.
Q: Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
A: They’re so wrapped up in themselves
Q: What do you do when 20 zombies surround your house?
A: Hope it’s Halloween!
Q: Why do vampires need mouthwash?
A: They have bat breath
Q: How did the priest make holy water?
A: He poured water from the tap and then boiled the heck out of it!
Q: What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
A: Dead ends
Q: What is a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument?
A: A trombone
Q: Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
A: No body
